Hanging by a thread!

I love meeting other 'sensory moms'. No one else can share stories like they can and NO ONE is funnier. Cause really, to have made it this far without completely freaking out or giving your child away to some poor, unsuspecting stranger, you have to have a pretty good sense of humor. I have met some of the most wonderful people through our experiences. Everyone has been incredibly helpful; one woman allows us to come to her house for therapy every single week when I'm sure she has other things she could be doing. Once you have someone help you out so significantly, you realize that you want to be able to help someone else. I so hope that I can ease someone else's way someday, or at least be a good sounding board.

Most days I actually do just fine though. We have lots of fun playing, my husband is extremely helpful when he's home, and we have a pretty good routine that, while it would drive some people crazy, we seem to make work. A good day is when it takes about an hour to get James to bed and he doesn't get up to cry until midnight. Even if he just waits to cry until I go to bed, that's a pretty decent evening. So I think I'm handling everything great. But when one thing goes wrong, I realize what a fine line I'm walking. We've had some rough nights (teething, a cold, moon and sun and stars not aligned properly--whatever, I try not to analyze too much), and at 4 am when I've been up for hours, my mental well-being is sadly diminished. I talked to a friend the other night who commented on my positivity, which was very sweet and made me feel good. It also broke the ice and made me laugh when I thought of it at 4 am the other morning, right after I handed James to my husband so I could go in the kitchen and scream to vent my frustration. In all honesty, it wasn't the worst night we've ever had. But man, I just couldn't take it. I just keep wondering how much longer I can hang on, or really how much longer I will HAVE to hang on, until this is over. There just doesn't seem to be an end in sight. Sigh.