Sunday, December 29, 2013

Things I Learned at Girl's Night

My brilliant friends, Rachael and Leslie, came up with this amazing plan to forgo Christmas presents in exchange for spending time together. SUCH a sweet idea and I especially loved it because I had no intention of getting them anything anyways, so this let me off the hook! I'm not entirely sure how a girl's night turned into Trapeze School but I'm not entirely sure how Rachael's mind works. I just go with it.
I had NO idea what to expect. I guess I figured I'd swing on something and fall a lot. I mean, I'm pretty strong, but I wasn't entirely sure how well my arms could hold me up....
I double triple quadruple questioned this when we showed up and our instructor told us we'd be hanging from our knees upside down and doing a backflip. As Sarah said, "I'm sorry I zoned out for a minute. Did you say backflip??" Exactly. Listen people, I can't even do a cartwheel. The only remotely acrobatic thing I can do is the cup on my forehead trick. I don't even think I could somersault without hurting myself.... I am.
It was pretty frigging amazing! Let's just say we already booked our next class. Completely. Hooked. (I might have a slightly addictive personality...)
As I don't get out for a girl's night very often, and never to this magnitude and hilarity, I found a few things that I learned worth mentioning:
1: Cabbies with the first name 'Getachew' are not from Mexico and don't speak Spanish.
2: Regardless of how badass you are on a trapeze, no dude looks cool in metallic, paisley spandex.
3: The human body + physics are an amazing combination.
4: Consider trapeze clothing choice carefully: they put a belt around your waist SO tight that you end up looking like a canister of Pillsbury cinnamon rolls that's been busted open, and then someone inexplicably tightened a belt around the middle.
5: Ladies, don't take your boyfriend to trapeze school to show him how good you are at it and how uncoordinated and awkward he is. It's completely emasculating and you will never want to sleep with him ever again, even if he deserves a medal for trying. (Btw, this truly applies to riding as well. Don't take your boyfriend riding unless you think he can NOT look like an idiot. There's nothing less attractive.)
6: I'm completely and blindly trusting of people in their given professions. These people were holding us in midair, guiding the safety ropes, and telling us what to do in the moment, and it never even occurred to me to think "gosh I hope they take this seriously...".
7: Only I can pack for an entire day at the barn with 2 kids, trapeze school, a dress and makeup for dinner, and only forget underwear.
8: DC is the worst laid out city in the entire world. Ever.
9: Having stoplights within a roundabout COMPLETELY defeats the purpose of the roundabout.
10: Cops in DC apparently aren't very busy, because out of boredom, they pulled me over on the busiest on ramp, in the dark, to tell me my registration stickers were expired. (They weren't actually. I explained that I had lost the stickers and couldn't find them, when in actuality I couldn't remember if I'd put them in the car or not and haven't bothered to look for them. I even tried to pass it off like the stickers were lost when I handed the young officer my registration card but the fact that they were stapled to the back really gave me away. On the plus side, I found them!! And the 2 police officers that were necessary to pull my Prius over put them on my plates for me. That was nice for when I was driving home at 2am. Thanks guys!
11: African editors are very friendly people and good photographers.
12: Good waiters are trained to keep a straight face so it doesn't seem like they're eavesdropping on your conversation, but they can only hold out so long.
13: And finally, I will never in my life get the dress code right with these girls:

(Here was last time we got together:

I'm too brunette.)

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