Things I Learned at Girl's Night

My brilliant friends, Rachael and Leslie, came up with this amazing plan to forgo Christmas presents in exchange for spending time together. SUCH a sweet idea and I especially loved it because I had no intention of getting them anything anyways, so this let me off the hook! I'm not entirely sure how a girl's night turned into Trapeze School but I'm not entirely sure how Rachael's mind works. I just go with it.
I had NO idea what to expect. I guess I figured I'd swing on something and fall a lot. I mean, I'm pretty strong, but I wasn't entirely sure how well my arms could hold me up....
I double triple quadruple questioned this when we showed up and our instructor told us we'd be hanging from our knees upside down and doing a backflip. As Sarah said, "I'm sorry I zoned out for a minute. Did you say backflip??" Exactly. Listen people, I can't even do a cartwheel. The only remotely acrobatic thing I can do is the cup on my forehead trick. I don't even think I could somersault without hurting myself....
Anyway....well...here I am.
It was pretty frigging amazing! Let's just say we already booked our next class. Completely. Hooked. (I might have a slightly addictive personality...)
As I don't get out for a girl's night very often, and never to this magnitude and hilarity, I found a few things that I learned worth mentioning:
1: Cabbies with the first name 'Getachew' are not from Mexico and don't speak Spanish.
2: Regardless of how badass you are on a trapeze, no dude looks cool in metallic, paisley spandex.
3: The human body + physics are an amazing combination.
4: Consider trapeze clothing choice carefully: they put a belt around your waist SO tight that you end up looking like a canister of Pillsbury cinnamon rolls that's been busted open, and then someone inexplicably tightened a belt around the middle.
5: Ladies, don't take your boyfriend to trapeze school to show him how good you are at it and how uncoordinated and awkward he is. It's completely emasculating and you will never want to sleep with him ever again, even if he deserves a medal for trying. (Btw, this truly applies to riding as well. Don't take your boyfriend riding unless you think he can NOT look like an idiot. There's nothing less attractive.)
6: I'm completely and blindly trusting of people in their given professions. These people were holding us in midair, guiding the safety ropes, and telling us what to do in the moment, and it never even occurred to me to think "gosh I hope they take this seriously...".
7: Only I can pack for an entire day at the barn with 2 kids, trapeze school, a dress and makeup for dinner, and only forget underwear.
8: DC is the worst laid out city in the entire world. Ever.
9: Having stoplights within a roundabout COMPLETELY defeats the purpose of the roundabout.
10: Cops in DC apparently aren't very busy, because out of boredom, they pulled me over on the busiest on ramp, in the dark, to tell me my registration stickers were expired. (They weren't actually. I explained that I had lost the stickers and couldn't find them, when in actuality I couldn't remember if I'd put them in the car or not and haven't bothered to look for them. I even tried to pass it off like the stickers were lost when I handed the young officer my registration card but the fact that they were stapled to the back really gave me away. On the plus side, I found them!! And the 2 police officers that were necessary to pull my Prius over put them on my plates for me. That was nice for when I was driving home at 2am. Thanks guys!
11: African editors are very friendly people and good photographers.
12: Good waiters are trained to keep a straight face so it doesn't seem like they're eavesdropping on your conversation, but they can only hold out so long.
13: And finally, I will never in my life get the dress code right with these girls:

(Here was last time we got together:

I'm too brunette.)

One At A Time....

It's been close to a year since we drove up to New York and started down this biomedical path of supplements and probiotics. It's been a bit of a bumpy road, but it's sure as shit been better than anything else we've tried.
As I mentioned when we put James on all these different things, we did it very methodically, starting with the things we were pretty sure weren't going to cause a reaction and ending with the things that had more of a potential of some sort of side effect or die off effect. We only kept the things that benefitted him.
Probiotics are frequently known to have a die off effect when the gut is crowded with bad bacteria. This means, basically, that the good bacteria are crowding out and killing off the bad. During this period, it can make you feel kind of cruddy, but then it should ease up. The probiotic that we put James on, I had heard was a bit gentler on them. And it really seemed to make him better almost immediately. In fact, at one point I had him on a slightly different one (because the names were stupidly similar and I hadn't realized I'd gotten the wrong one), and he wasn't doing so hot. When I noticed my error and switched back to his normal one, he was markedly better.
Well, when we went in for that fasting blood test several weeks ago, he had 24 hours without any supplements. The next morning I stared at him (creepily) for a while and realized he looked better. His color was better, his face a bit less drawn. He also didn't have to rush to the bathroom as he'd been doing for the past couple of months. I decided to, again, add back his supplements one at a time and see if something was now causing a problem. (Btw I realize my tenses are all wonky...bear with me.)
Anyway, I suspected the probiotics were causing issue so I saved it for last. He just kept doing better and better, pooping as close to normal as he ever has. I didn't even want to put him back on the probiotics at this point, but I knew it wasn't a perfect experiment unless I did. So I gave him a quarter of a dose and he immediately ran to the bathroom.
Talk about killing him with kindness. Course, the doctors don't quite know what to do with this information. His labs actually show he has a need for probiotics. So there are questions of....which one do we put him on and why is he so much better without it? And why the change??
At this point though, he's gained a pound and a half, probably mostly in fluids, and has gained huge ground in his interest in food. He wants to try everything! Interestingly enough (kind of), putting your kid on a GFCF diet is super easy when they don't care about food. Gets tricky when they want all the things other kids are having. We've been having veeeeery lengthy discussions when we go other places about what is gluten free and what isn't. And who eats gluten free and who doesn't. And what will happen if he DOES eat gluten. Etc etc. Etc......etc.
Anyway, he's all into sandwiches now. So I'm, of course, soaking and dehydrating raw cashews and making nut butter so he can digest it. And he is actually eating lunch at school now and doing SO well. It's just....weird. It's definitely opening up a whole new world for us.
I talked to another mom recently about a really long term, intensive feeding program she was considering for her son, which is something we have considered at different times. Some of them are pretty hard core. And I may have given different advice before our latest experiment. But I threw out there that without figuring out WHY her kid wasn't eating, an intensive feeding program would probably be stressful, and probably would only work temporarily. Which is something that Jenny McGlothlin told us many times. It's kind of like losing weight on a juice cleanse diet. It's probably comin back!
It's wonderful to see James feeling good and having energy. We aren't really sure what's going to happen next because....I still haven't gotten The Plan. But at least we are at decent place right now where hopefully we can see some results!

On another note, it's really cold here. But it's the first time that James has felt well enough to play in the snow! He's never been able to last more than a few minutes and it pretty much always ended in tears. This year, he even outlasted Eve!!



They like to watch videos of themselves sledding. While they are sledding.








Moo.





Brrrrrr.

Guest time?

Tis the season, and all that jazz. Lots of people are having Christmas or various holiday parties.
I'm not.
I even pawned off Thanksgiving on Annie and Rob. It was awesome.


And delicious.


And the kids totally behaved.


Obviously.
However, it's a time where people seem to get all kinds of into entertaining. Play groups become cookie swaps and BBQs are swapped for cocktail parties. Maybe it's because, on top of all the holiday cheer, most of us are stuck inside a great deal more, so we want other people to come in and wallow in misery with us. I mean....have a lot of indoor fun with us while fucking up our house. (....too much?)
Anyway, it can all get very stressful. Kids are playing with decorations that are only supposed to be looked at but also look exactly like a cool toy. Everything is breakable. Everything gets dirty....
We like our house to look clean before everybody tramps in and dirties it up!! I mean....
So this year, I say nay nay.
This year...I will clean my house AFTER you come visit. Don't take it personally. I'm not doing because I care that you or your kid is gonna stomp dirt in my house, I'm doing it so that I don't HAVE to care!
This year...I will attend OTHER people's parties. My kids will look cute, they will behave...I may even bring A dish, or lots of wine. I'll put makeup on! And I'll probably be overdressed out of pure excitement.

This year...I will have play dates and I will have nothing made but coffee. Or champagne, if you prefer (I'm always down). And guess what...no one will care! (Let's face it...no one wants my gluten free, all natural attempts at muffins anyway, unless I make the rum ones. Everyone wants my bubbles.)
This year....I will actually decorate for Christmas. But stay within reason. This is the first year that we will be purposefully at home. And the kids are old enough. We will have a proper tree....and that's probably it. Don't judge me. Baby steps.
This year...I'm not even attempting Christmas cards. But still send me yours. Unless you don't put pictures on them. Then I don't care.
This year...I will probably again be making a bulk, but deliciously homemade Christmas gift. My chimichurri or my salad dressing. I'll take votes.
So this year, I plan on celebrating the first Christmas in over 5 years that hasn't had an underlying suckiness to it. I'm going to enjoy it and teach my kids to remember the true meaning behind it. And also, contradictorily, be a leeetle bit selfish about it. And I won't think ill of anyone doing the same!
I also promise to have a big, outdoor BBQ this summer where everyone can come. I'm still not cleaning my house until after.

Wah Waaah: The Anti-Climax

I have been SO excited recently. So. Excited. I haven't even posted anything because I was waiting to make a post about the latest test results. Two weeks ago I got the call that the results were back, and that I had to wait two weeks for the phone appt where I could hear about it. Sigh. But okay. I took the first available appointment, of course.
Now here's the thing: I didn't go so far as to think this was going to be a cure-all. But I did think we were going to develop A Plan. A really good one. And maybe we'd reach a few conclusions...
I sort of hoped so much to the point that I thought maybe it would help form, not the end of or journey certainly, but something to begin wrapping up part 1 of publishing this blog, to hopefully help other parents out there. (Cause nothing makes us feel better than reading about other people's pain and struggles.)
And this still may happen...The Plan.
However....apparently no one in the office out my appointment into their computer. So while I organized Tom to take the kids to school so I could have a phone conversation that didn't consist of "who are you talking to?", "what are you talking about?", "why did you say that?", etc etc in the background....they didn't have their shit together. First they wanted me to reschedule for Thursday, which I can't do. Then they said they'd gather up as much as they could and I should call back in 7 minutes. Apparently it takes 7 minutes. Fascinating.
Anyway, I should have just waiting cause I only got partial info. Dr Mumper didn't have all the information in front of her cause...turns out it does take more than 7 minutes to get all the labs in one place. So she went over what she had, but without the rest of it in front of her, it didn't tell us much. So I'll be getting an email and a letter soon.
I was seriously pissed when I hung up. Tom got an earful of how I feel about the medical community at large. But now I'm just resigned to waiting. Again.
It's fine.
Fine?
Fine...