tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-86401796086327713162024-03-13T20:40:28.007-07:00Sensational Mom...or trying anyway!Clarehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09029460153866396509noreply@blogger.comBlogger143125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8640179608632771316.post-36917326035414796972014-01-07T04:57:00.001-08:002014-01-12T15:32:32.879-08:00For The Love of Horses<br />I'm so happy now to be able to share my love of horses with my kids. For years now, it just wasn't possible. Every barn visit was stressful and miserable and ended in tears. Usually mine. But because of the crying and the misery, I had to step back from something that was such an integral part of my life for so long. When I'd meet someone new and they learned what my husband did for a living, it would always make me pause a little when they asked, "And do you ride?" At first I would say I was on a little break since having a child. Then I would say I ride a little. And last year I would say, "I used to."<br />I USED to?? I couldn't believe I was that person. Back in the day as a young rider in the upper levels, we NEVER wanted to be that person! A big hit to the ol ego here...<br />So then, this summer, James's health started improving and we received a pony. And, well, someone had to ride it and it probably wasn't going to be my 6'2" husband. Thus began my re-entrance into being a rider again. <br />I sure was lucky to have this pony to rehab me too! Most of you have seen the pictures of Punky. She's cute as a button and is wonderful with kids. She's also a complete blast to ride and came to us very well trained. It was the perfect way for me to ease back into things and actually become a better rider because of it. <br />I have time to ride a few horses while the kids are in school now, which is awesome because it's so efficient, but once or twice a week now, they need to come with me. Now, one kid in a barn while working with horses: not too bad. Two kids?? Ages 5 and 2?? Whew. It can be mayhem. And I really don't want them to ever have a bad experience when they are so young, because we need them to be cool with horses. If they want to actually ride, that's great. But we NEED them to be happy there at least. We also NEED to be able to get a lot done. And the kids have been soooo great about it. Especially through these winter months! But it took some planning to figure out the most efficient way for me to school horses and keep the children not only alive, but entertained!<br />Hence, the creation of The Nook.<br /><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5966136540068854866'><img src='https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-NwnfJ7doUHc/Usv5ksBIPFI/AAAAAAAABJE/o_ZCjxdk85U/s288/1389098888.418942.jpg' border='0' width='281' height='133' style='margin:5px'></a><br /><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5966136571742856498'><img src='https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-KRnRgmzU5i4/Usv5miAzJTI/AAAAAAAABJQ/0p5B8qvx4js/s288/1389098890.169145.jpg' border='0' width='281' height='210' style='margin:5px'></a><br /><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5966136607411945714'><img src='https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-8yDMeAx1k7E/Usv5om4-QPI/AAAAAAAABJY/97eNfOSWVMw/s288/1389098892.278749.jpg' border='0' width='210' height='281' style='margin:5px'></a><br /><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5966136635687558674'><img src='https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-7AOTjmR6sK0/Usv5qQOZ3hI/AAAAAAAABJg/uxsi2NH7Uz4/s288/1389098894.799319.jpg' border='0' width='210' height='281' style='margin:5px'></a><br />Okay so The Nook is just a line of gymnastics I broke down. They aren't allowed outside the poles, but they can do anything they want in there. They have water and snacks and the barrels provide endless fun. AND, as an added bonus, our horses are now EXTREMELY well broke. If you want to come try one of our off the track horses, rest assured they can walk, trot, and canter around The Nook while kids play gladiator games with the barrels without batting an eye. <br />And then after I'm done on a few of the horses, the kids get their turns!<br /><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5966136670128199554'><img src='https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-Y4wQ43YXBoY/Usv5sQhsV4I/AAAAAAAABJo/dzMZ-2YyKts/s288/1389099170.840957.jpg' border='0' width='210' height='281' style='margin:5px'></a><br /><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5966136704811258658'><img src='https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-_hH473aWtbs/Usv5uRux0yI/AAAAAAAABJw/WdleX0ISqqo/s288/1389099172.488556.jpg' border='0' width='281' height='210' style='margin:5px'></a><br />Riding 4 horses may take ALL DAY now, but we have a lot of fun and pretty much NOBODY cries!!<br />I can't wait for warm weather.<br /><br />Clarehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09029460153866396509noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8640179608632771316.post-1627581099046129312014-01-01T07:27:00.001-08:002014-01-01T07:27:25.880-08:00Another New YearHappens every year! Same time! I see lots of conflicting posts around the internet...some are happy to see 2013 go and are ready for a fresh start with 2014. And some are reflecting back and thinking 2013 was pretty darn good. Fact is, our good times and bad times don't magically end on Dec 31st. Unfortunately, Jan 1 doesn't begin with a clean slate. More often than not, we all end up feeling pretty bad the morning of the first...hmmmm...<br />Anyway, you can tell I don't put a ton of stock in the magic of a new year. In the past I just went to work with a hangover, and now I raise kids....usually with a hangover. Except this time. Last night I went to bed at 9. It was magical. But talk to me again Sunday morning after our Saturday makeup New Years celebration...<br />In the past several years, my problems on Dec 31st (namely James' health) were still my problems on Jan 1st. And they seemed to get progressively worse!<br />But this year, someone asked (as they always do) how our year was. Tom paused for a minute (I honestly don't think either of us had thought much about New Years besides buying booze) and said, "You know it was good. James stayed out of the hospital all year."<br />Wow.<br />I hadn't even realized....<br />It wasn't a totally smooth sailing year....<br />He's not all better....<br />And last Christmas and New Years, we stayed home last minute because we knew if we rocked the boat, he WOULD end up back in the hospital....<br />BUT, he didn't. And he's thriving(ish)! <br />I still have knots in my stomach every day. I still have frequent panic attacks in the middle of the night. But at least I know that they're currently unfounded! I still worry about what and how much he eats. But those feelings are starting to ease up. When I run now, I run purely for exercise and to keep my ass in check. Not to escape that itchy, heart pounding, panicky feeling from all the stress. Now...this means I don't run as much as I used to...so I should probably work on that. Lol!<br />So anyway, reflecting back, 2013 was pretty darn good. We are rejoining the world a bit, I've been able to do weird stuff, like trapezing (it's a word) and meeting my book girls who have become extremely close friends. I'm riding again and riding well! I have a truly amazing husband whom I not only LOVE, but I like him too. He's my other half and every minute with him I fall more in love. I have 2 hilarious and awesome kids that crack me up and make me wanna poke my eyeballs out alternately. I still have Charlotte AND Jake! That's pretty amazing!!<br />Yep! 2013 was great! 2014 will have it's ups and downs, but as long as the ups outweigh the downs, I'm good!!!<br /><br /><br /><center><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5963948748369136450'><img src='https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-orVd40d2L4g/UsQzyc0ti0I/AAAAAAAABHY/CPU2BRregsk/s288/1388589870.044565.jpg' border='0' width='281' height='210' style='margin:5px'></a></center><br /><br /><br /><center><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5963948773363437634'><img src='https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-QB_2xW4eBXM/UsQzz570UEI/AAAAAAAABHg/qsHFBUJGUP4/s288/1388589871.536849.jpg' border='0' width='210' height='281' style='margin:5px'></a></center><br />I also got my drinking buddy back when...<br /><br /><center><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5963948800212099538'><img src='https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-IG4FMZQzbhI/UsQz1d9CYdI/AAAAAAAABHo/oMk_Rxu3VLk/s288/1388589873.846031.jpg' border='0' width='210' height='281' style='margin:5px'></a></center><br />She brought this little gem into the world! Good year!!<br /><br /><center><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5963948826112245570'><img src='https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-yIE6EwSiCGk/UsQz2-cHP0I/AAAAAAAABHw/0UwoK87nBwI/s288/1388589956.186831.jpg' border='0' width='210' height='281' style='margin:5px'></a></center><br /><br />Clarehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09029460153866396509noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8640179608632771316.post-90972113024520357412013-12-29T06:08:00.001-08:002013-12-29T06:09:47.346-08:00Things I Learned at Girl's Night<br />My brilliant friends, Rachael and Leslie, came up with this amazing plan to forgo Christmas presents in exchange for spending time together. SUCH a sweet idea and I especially loved it because I had no intention of getting them anything anyways, so this let me off the hook! I'm not entirely sure how a girl's night turned into <a target="_blank" href="http://washingtondc.trapezeschool.com">Trapeze School</a> but I'm not entirely sure how Rachael's mind works. I just go with it. <br />I had NO idea what to expect. I guess I figured I'd swing on something and fall a lot. I mean, I'm pretty strong, but I wasn't entirely sure how well my arms could hold me up....<br />I double triple quadruple questioned this when we showed up and our instructor told us we'd be hanging from our knees upside down and doing a backflip. As Sarah said, "I'm sorry I zoned out for a minute. Did you say backflip??" Exactly. Listen people, I can't even do a cartwheel. The only remotely acrobatic thing I can do is the cup on my forehead trick. I don't even think I could somersault without hurting myself....<br />Anyway....well...<a target="_blank" href="http://youtu.be/SNK778UC-Bg">here</a> I am. <br />It was pretty frigging amazing! Let's just say we already booked our next class. Completely. Hooked. (I might have a slightly addictive personality...)<br />As I don't get out for a girl's night very often, and never to this magnitude and hilarity, I found a few things that I learned worth mentioning:<br />1: Cabbies with the first name 'Getachew' are not from Mexico and don't speak Spanish.<br />2: Regardless of how badass you are on a trapeze, no dude looks cool in metallic, paisley spandex.<br />3: The human body + physics are an amazing combination.<br />4: Consider trapeze clothing choice carefully: they put a belt around your waist SO tight that you end up looking like a canister of Pillsbury cinnamon rolls that's been busted open, and then someone inexplicably tightened a belt around the middle.<br />5: Ladies, don't take your boyfriend to trapeze school to show him how good you are at it and how uncoordinated and awkward he is. It's completely emasculating and you will never want to sleep with him ever again, even if he deserves a medal for trying. (Btw, this truly applies to riding as well. Don't take your boyfriend riding unless you think he can NOT look like an idiot. There's nothing less attractive.)<br />6: I'm completely and blindly trusting of people in their given professions. These people were holding us in midair, guiding the safety ropes, and telling us what to do in the moment, and it never even occurred to me to think "gosh I hope they take this seriously...".<br />7: Only I can pack for an entire day at the barn with 2 kids, trapeze school, a dress and makeup for dinner, and only forget underwear.<br />8: DC is the worst laid out city in the entire world. Ever.<br />9: Having stoplights within a roundabout COMPLETELY defeats the purpose of the roundabout.<br />10: Cops in DC apparently aren't very busy, because out of boredom, they pulled me over on the busiest on ramp, in the dark, to tell me my registration stickers were expired. (They weren't actually. I explained that I had lost the stickers and couldn't find them, when in actuality I couldn't remember if I'd put them in the car or not and haven't bothered to look for them. I even tried to pass it off like the stickers were lost when I handed the young officer my registration card but the fact that they were stapled to the back really gave me away. On the plus side, I found them!! And the 2 police officers that were necessary to pull my Prius over put them on my plates for me. That was nice for when I was driving home at 2am. Thanks guys!<br />11: African editors are very friendly people and good photographers.<br />12: Good waiters are trained to keep a straight face so it doesn't seem like they're eavesdropping on your conversation, but they can only hold out so long.<br />13: And finally, I will never in my life get the dress code right with these girls:<br /><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5962815241091180770'><img src='https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-QNpOX-TnLcE/UsAs3pKGaOI/AAAAAAAABHA/P6v1-JSgFfM/s288/1388325260.655882.jpg' border='0' width='281' height='210' style='margin:5px'></a><br />(Here was last time we got together:<br /><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5962815293888764914'><img src='https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-o1N2w7QZxnI/UsAs6t2Bm_I/AAAAAAAABHI/M6E1aJ7RviY/s288/1388326057.595755.jpg' border='0' width='281' height='209' style='margin:5px'></a><br />I'm too brunette.)<br /><br />Clarehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09029460153866396509noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8640179608632771316.post-18692963372142137642013-12-13T04:33:00.001-08:002013-12-13T04:33:19.424-08:00One At A Time....It's been close to a year since we drove up to New York and started down this biomedical path of supplements and probiotics. It's been a bit of a bumpy road, but it's sure as shit been better than anything else we've tried.<br />As I mentioned when we put James on all these different things, we did it very methodically, starting with the things we were pretty sure weren't going to cause a reaction and ending with the things that had more of a potential of some sort of side effect or die off effect. We only kept the things that benefitted him. <br />Probiotics are frequently known to have a die off effect when the gut is crowded with bad bacteria. This means, basically, that the good bacteria are crowding out and killing off the bad. During this period, it can make you feel kind of cruddy, but then it should ease up. The probiotic that we put James on, I had heard was a bit gentler on them. And it really seemed to make him better almost immediately. In fact, at one point I had him on a slightly different one (because the names were stupidly similar and I hadn't realized I'd gotten the wrong one), and he wasn't doing so hot. When I noticed my error and switched back to his normal one, he was markedly better.<br />Well, when we went in for that fasting blood test several weeks ago, he had 24 hours without any supplements. The next morning I stared at him (creepily) for a while and realized he looked better. His color was better, his face a bit less drawn. He also didn't have to rush to the bathroom as he'd been doing for the past couple of months. I decided to, again, add back his supplements one at a time and see if something was now causing a problem. (Btw I realize my tenses are all wonky...bear with me.)<br />Anyway, I suspected the probiotics were causing issue so I saved it for last. He just kept doing better and better, pooping as close to normal as he ever has. I didn't even want to put him back on the probiotics at this point, but I knew it wasn't a perfect experiment unless I did. So I gave him a quarter of a dose and he immediately ran to the bathroom. <br />Talk about killing him with kindness. Course, the doctors don't quite know what to do with this information. His labs actually show he has a need for probiotics. So there are questions of....which one do we put him on and why is he so much better without it? And why the change??<br />At this point though, he's gained a pound and a half, probably mostly in fluids, and has gained huge ground in his interest in food. He wants to try everything! Interestingly enough (kind of), putting your kid on a GFCF diet is super easy when they don't care about food. Gets tricky when they want all the things other kids are having. We've been having veeeeery lengthy discussions when we go other places about what is gluten free and what isn't. And who eats gluten free and who doesn't. And what will happen if he DOES eat gluten. Etc etc. Etc......etc.<br />Anyway, he's all into sandwiches now. So I'm, of course, soaking and dehydrating raw cashews and making nut butter so he can digest it. And he is actually eating lunch at school now and doing SO well. It's just....weird. It's definitely opening up a whole new world for us. <br />I talked to another mom recently about a really long term, intensive feeding program she was considering for her son, which is something we have considered at different times. Some of them are pretty hard core. And I may have given different advice before our latest experiment. But I threw out there that without figuring out WHY her kid wasn't eating, an intensive feeding program would probably be stressful, and probably would only work temporarily. Which is something that Jenny McGlothlin told us many times. It's kind of like losing weight on a juice cleanse diet. It's probably comin back! <br />It's wonderful to see James feeling good and having energy. We aren't really sure what's going to happen next because....I still haven't gotten The Plan. But at least we are at decent place right now where hopefully we can see some results!<br /><br />On another note, it's really cold here. But it's the first time that James has felt well enough to play in the snow! He's never been able to last more than a few minutes and it pretty much always ended in tears. This year, he even outlasted Eve!!<br /><br /><br /><center><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5956853190883568498'><img src='https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-ceEPf1i9mi8/Uqr-apXEa3I/AAAAAAAABEk/WxiXr7Mg7EE/s288/1386937731.413839.jpg' border='0' width='281' height='187' style='margin:5px'></a></center><br />They like to watch videos of themselves sledding. While they are sledding.<br /><br /><center><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5956853214348863666'><img src='https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-ngBeg3t_kgo/Uqr-cAxoaLI/AAAAAAAABEs/cvVQhgFIQIE/s288/1386937738.052639.jpg' border='0' width='187' height='281' style='margin:5px'></a></center><br /><br /><br /><center><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5956853243714676930'><img src='https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-8g-INT8-Ow0/Uqr-duK_KMI/AAAAAAAABE0/b6a0PJHTrMo/s288/1386937739.117063.jpg' border='0' width='281' height='187' style='margin:5px'></a></center><br /><br /><br /><center><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5956853267946569858'><img src='https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-S9mwrETfTVo/Uqr-fIcUgII/AAAAAAAABE8/3yHO60RhoO4/s288/1386937778.129784.jpg' border='0' width='281' height='187' style='margin:5px'></a></center><br />Moo.<br /><br /><center><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5956853294026642706'><img src='https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-rfopfr83Or8/Uqr-gpmS1RI/AAAAAAAABFE/kmXUwzL2KeY/s288/1386937779.051221.jpg' border='0' width='281' height='187' style='margin:5px'></a></center><br /><br /><br /><center><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5956853317435722786'><img src='https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-O9uOrVQ8sH4/Uqr-iAzdDCI/AAAAAAAABFM/mcJrMy8BaxM/s288/1386937782.620921.jpg' border='0' width='281' height='187' style='margin:5px'></a></center><br />Brrrrrr.<br /><br /><center><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5956853338891131762'><img src='https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-aPuZt8n1QFk/Uqr-jQu0m3I/AAAAAAAABFU/tcd0bgf2yjc/s288/1386937786.118275.jpg' border='0' width='187' height='281' style='margin:5px'></a></center><br /><br />Clarehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09029460153866396509noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8640179608632771316.post-35694596699861286112013-12-06T09:50:00.001-08:002013-12-06T09:53:15.439-08:00Guest time?Tis the season, and all that jazz. Lots of people are having Christmas or various holiday parties. <br />I'm not.<br />I even pawned off Thanksgiving on Annie and Rob. It was awesome.<br /><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5954337196533757042'><img src='https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-N_-5NMSQsd8/UqIOIgBKNHI/AAAAAAAABDM/F8EHQOfWA5U/s288/1386350537.489626.jpg' border='0' width='281' height='187' style='margin:5px'></a><br /><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5954337227389001570'><img src='https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-H9_AbvS_aGc/UqIOKS9n32I/AAAAAAAABDU/Y3JOI09kJeg/s288/1386350540.762554.jpg' border='0' width='281' height='187' style='margin:5px'></a><br />And delicious.<br /><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5954337262108123074'><img src='https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-B2ujMdRPNM4/UqIOMUTTn8I/AAAAAAAABDc/9nOdV5Jfyyc/s288/1386350543.706512.jpg' border='0' width='281' height='187' style='margin:5px'></a><br /><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5954337288895624066'><img src='https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-bE_hq1GLuxA/UqION4F8c4I/AAAAAAAABDk/Syx8bmKnXe0/s288/1386350544.422866.jpg' border='0' width='281' height='187' style='margin:5px'></a><br />And the kids totally behaved.<br /><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5954337315778443330'><img src='https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-sakwiIcguLM/UqIOPcPTuEI/AAAAAAAABDs/D73ZqGAFhSo/s288/1386350574.978773.jpg' border='0' width='281' height='187' style='margin:5px'></a><br /><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5954337350757747474'><img src='https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-iF2-TeNP5Ns/UqIORejBixI/AAAAAAAABD0/5lkUYy7V-eo/s288/1386350575.720023.jpg' border='0' width='281' height='187' style='margin:5px'></a><br />Obviously.<br />However, it's a time where people seem to get all kinds of into entertaining. Play groups become cookie swaps and BBQs are swapped for cocktail parties. Maybe it's because, on top of all the holiday cheer, most of us are stuck inside a great deal more, so we want other people to come in and wallow in misery with us. I mean....have a lot of indoor fun with us while fucking up our house. (....too much?)<br />Anyway, it can all get very stressful. Kids are playing with decorations that are only supposed to be looked at but also look exactly like a cool toy. Everything is breakable. Everything gets dirty....<br />We like our house to look clean before everybody tramps in and dirties it up!! I mean....<br />So this year, I say nay nay.<br />This year...I will clean my house AFTER you come visit. Don't take it personally. I'm not doing because I care that you or your kid is gonna stomp dirt in my house, I'm doing it so that I don't HAVE to care! <br />This year...I will attend OTHER people's parties. My kids will look cute, they will behave...I may even bring A dish, or lots of wine. I'll put makeup on! And I'll probably be overdressed out of pure excitement.<br /><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5954337385121204546'><img src='https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-O_U3KwFeWu0/UqIOTej6SUI/AAAAAAAABD8/inSF9MQ9dik/s288/1386351283.600177.jpg' border='0' width='210' height='281' style='margin:5px'></a><br />This year...I will have play dates and I will have nothing made but coffee. Or champagne, if you prefer (I'm always down). And guess what...no one will care! (Let's face it...no one wants my gluten free, all natural attempts at muffins anyway, unless I make the rum ones. Everyone wants my bubbles.)<br />This year....I will actually decorate for Christmas. But stay within reason. This is the first year that we will be purposefully at home. And the kids are old enough. We will have a proper tree....and that's probably it. Don't judge me. Baby steps.<br />This year...I'm not even attempting Christmas cards. But still send me yours. Unless you don't put pictures on them. Then I don't care.<br />This year...I will probably again be making a bulk, but deliciously homemade Christmas gift. My chimichurri or my salad dressing. I'll take votes.<br />So this year, I plan on celebrating the first Christmas in over 5 years that hasn't had an underlying suckiness to it. I'm going to enjoy it and teach my kids to remember the true meaning behind it. And also, contradictorily, be a leeetle bit selfish about it. And I won't think ill of anyone doing the same!<br />I also promise to have a big, outdoor BBQ this summer where everyone can come. I'm still not cleaning my house until after.<br /><br />Clarehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09029460153866396509noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8640179608632771316.post-61375769856029232672013-12-04T06:14:00.001-08:002013-12-04T06:14:51.148-08:00Wah Waaah: The Anti-ClimaxI have been SO excited recently. So. Excited. I haven't even posted anything because I was waiting to make a post about the latest test results. Two weeks ago I got the call that the results were back, and that I had to wait two weeks for the phone appt where I could hear about it. Sigh. But okay. I took the first available appointment, of course. <br />Now here's the thing: I didn't go so far as to think this was going to be a cure-all. But I did think we were going to develop A Plan. A really good one. And maybe we'd reach a few conclusions...<br />I sort of hoped so much to the point that I thought maybe it would help form, not the end of or journey certainly, but something to begin wrapping up part 1 of publishing this blog, to hopefully help other parents out there. (Cause nothing makes us feel better than reading about other people's pain and struggles.)<br />And this still may happen...The Plan.<br />However....apparently no one in the office out my appointment into their computer. So while I organized Tom to take the kids to school so I could have a phone conversation that didn't consist of "who are you talking to?", "what are you talking about?", "why did you say that?", etc etc in the background....they didn't have their shit together. First they wanted me to reschedule for Thursday, which I can't do. Then they said they'd gather up as much as they could and I should call back in 7 minutes. Apparently it takes 7 minutes. Fascinating.<br />Anyway, I should have just waiting cause I only got partial info. Dr Mumper didn't have all the information in front of her cause...turns out it does take more than 7 minutes to get all the labs in one place. So she went over what she had, but without the rest of it in front of her, it didn't tell us much. So I'll be getting an email and a letter soon. <br />I was seriously pissed when I hung up. Tom got an earful of how I feel about the medical community at large. But now I'm just resigned to waiting. Again.<br />It's fine. <br />Fine?<br />Fine...<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Clarehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09029460153866396509noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8640179608632771316.post-75627559181206540212013-11-15T05:04:00.001-08:002013-11-15T07:14:10.847-08:00CrossroadsI find myself at this strange point in life where I swap in and out from horse world to real world, horse world to real world. Since James was born, I've actually really been in neither world, so you can imagine my own confusion. As I find myself being able to re-enter society, I'm having to figure out juggling the horse world and the real world.<br />See, even in the horse world, it's a notable sight to see someone in real world clothes, or who has a real world job, or KIDS! Not much more real world than that, I suppose.<br />In the real world, well, I guess if you're dressed in Ralph Lauren, that would look normal. But...you usually don't...<br />My riding days are worked around the kids' school schedule. I drop them at 9 and drive half hour to the barn, then have about 2 hours before I have to jump back in the car to pick them up at noon. Depending on if the horses are ready and what they need to do, I can usually work 3 of them. But I do need to get my boots and spurs and 427 layers of jackets. I usually drive to school looking fairly normal...jeans or workout pants and Ugg boots. A shirt. And then I just change shoes and ride in whatever I have on. <br />Usually, by the time I'm done on my last horse, I'm running behind, so I whip off my boots or chaps (I can rip chaps off faster than a stripper gets out of Velcro pants), throw the Ugg boots on, redo my ponytail, and peel off jackets. I haven't thought to bring another shirt cause I don't think I could be that organized, but it'd be a good idea because despite frigid temps this week, you tend to sweat under 427 layers. (I hate cold weather.)<br />Anyway, school is pretty used to me and my extremely half hearted attempts to appear normal...but sometimes I forget about other people. Yesterday I scurry into school a few minutes late in a really bizarre shirt paired with a possibly mismatched Pacific Farms vest, with dirty yoga pants tucked into my dirty, black Uggs. I totally had dirt under my fingernails (that's another real world thing....I kind of have fingernails now). And I probably (definitely) stunk. Lucky for me (and them), there was a well dressed couple there waiting to have a meeting with the teacher. I, of course, introduced myself and shook hands before looking down at myself...and my hands...crap. I felt like I wanted to explain how I ride, and that's why I'm dirty and smell, but they probably wouldn't have believed me cause I was wearing yoga pants and Ugg boots: the uniform of stay at home moms everywhere. If I'd stayed in chaps, no explanation would have been necessary.<br />Clearly....my plan needs refinement.<br /><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5946470947785612578'><img src='https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-lyynHqN6LsQ/UoYb0j3xHSI/AAAAAAAABA0/pQewvxGCwNA/s288/1384520543.902563.jpg' border='0' width='157' height='281' style='margin:5px'></a><br />Or maybe I just need refinement...<br /><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5946470984567267666'><img src='https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-XDWR9O-fqSQ/UoYb2s5MoVI/AAAAAAAABA8/AxuUY159Z0Y/s288/1384520631.287331.jpg' border='0' width='210' height='281' style='margin:5px'></a><br /><br />Clarehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09029460153866396509noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8640179608632771316.post-55476032845706825312013-11-07T11:12:00.001-08:002013-11-07T11:12:48.736-08:00Self AwarenessNot my own.<br /><br />I prefer to remain blissfully ignorant of much of myself. Too confusing.<br /><br />But I really really REALLY love psychoanalyzing others, and who better to practice on than your own children!<br /><br />See, kids are like animals. They either can't talk yet or have a hard time expressing feelings or pinpointing a pain or discomfort. Horses, of course, taught me a lot about this. We are constantly trying to feel FOR them. <br /><br />Like...they're tight on this rein so something is going on with this hind leg. Or they're swishing their tail and tightening their back during this move so something about that is uncomfortable or difficult for them.<br /><br />Inside every rider is a teeny veterinarian, just like inside every mom is a teeny doctor, much to the dismay of the entire community of medical professionals. <br /><br />We've spent the last 5 years trying to understand how James feels. Because he's a freakishly good kid, but when he freaks out irrationally at something....it's....irrational. And not normal kid irrational. Fact is, something is, at the very least, uncomfortable. We know that SPD causes people to be uncomfortable in their own skin. Things that should feel good to them in reality feel noxious and threatening. And it's very hard to know how to comfort someone when the traditional means are off-putting. <br />There are a few things that bring James immense comfort in his difficult world, that I KNOW other parents certainly don't understand. Yes. He's five years old and sleeps with a pacifier. Yes. I know he's going to need braces. He's my son. He was gonna need 'em anyway. And yes. He almost always has a specific toy in his hands at times. It's a bit odd but the alternative is a full blown panic attack, and he can handle being at school without them, so I'm not worried about the long term repercussions. Baby steps, people, baby steps.<br />What I worry about is: what is going on in his head and body that causes all of this behavior (the fidget, the eye rubbing, the zoning out, the incredible focus on certain things, the outbursts, the feeding and gut issues). All the therapists we've seen over the years said the same thing, "there is an element of this that will get easier as they get older and can understand you, and you, in turn, can understand them."<br />So I'm tucking James in two nights ago, and with one hand fussing with his eyelashes, he started this conversation:<br /> "Mommy, you know what?"<br /><br />"What, buddy?"<br /><br />"Mommy, I don't want to be so itchy all the time."<br /><br />"Where are you itchy?"<br /><br />"I'm itchy everywhere. All the time. I'm always itchy. Eve isn't itchy all the time but I am."<br /><br />"Okay kiddo, well remember all those labs we just did?"<br /><br />He nods.<br /><br />"In a few more weeks they're going to help us find out why you're itchy and help us make it all better, okay?"<br /><br />"Okay. Mommy you know what else?"<br /><br />"What, buddy?"<br /><br />"I'm tired all the time. I don't want to be tired all day anymore."<br /><br />I have him a big hug to hide myself tearing up and said, "okay bud. They're gonna help us with that too. And soon we'll get some new vitamins and learn what the best kind of food is for you to eat and feel all better."<br /><br />Please God, let them help.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Clarehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09029460153866396509noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8640179608632771316.post-4690200192001674082013-10-30T07:35:00.001-07:002013-10-30T18:10:47.850-07:00Fine...I've mentioned before how tricky I am to live with. Well...I was being nice. I'm also frequently an emotional roller coaster AND I don't tell anyone. Think on that...<br />I've been pretty worried about James lately. His health has been stagnant. I mean, we're ok (fine). Not like I think we're headed to the hospital soon, but more like...'so is this it...?'<br />And the last cold hit him pretty hard. Add that to typical life stress, small children nonsensicalness (it's a word), business stress (we have 2 of them too), all sorts of crap....well, basically we had a lady bug influx one afternoon and some (a shit ton) came inside, which happens out here, and I um....I fruck out. Ugly cried. For a long time. While vacuuming lady bugs.<br />The good thing about this is that when your children see you lose it completely...they're usually ridiculously good for the rest of the day. Shock and awe. I'm all about it.<br />Anyway, the other thing looming over my head was this big blood draw we were going to have to do as soon as the kit arrived. Not only cause it's stressful for all, but because the amount of blood is A LOT for a 29 lb child. Basically he's donating blood. For this particular test, I had to collect a fasting AM urine, separate it into tubes and make sure it was enough they were full, freeze them for 2 hours before leaving for the dr to have the blood drawn, where our amazing phlebotomist was taking care of all the other stuff. How to make sure all this happened was making my head spin, cause if anything didn't get done properly, the whole thing has to be redone. If they couldn't get ALL the blood, the test doesn't really work. Luckily Tom knows me well enough now (one would hope) that he was aware that until this was completed, I was....not really okay. At least we know! In fact, I voiced it. I said, "until this is all done, can we just allow me to not be ok?" (Enter dramatic hand gestures here).<br />To which Tom replied, "yep."<br />He gets me.<br />So here's how the day has gone.<br />3:30am- wake James to pee in cup. <br />Never really go back to sleep and whenever doze off, have dream about messing up pee collection, or dream about Tom messing it up which I've still not recovered from violent feelings of.<br />5am- wake James again for more pee. Success! Separate into tubes and get it in freezer. Make coffee and sit in dark reading and snapchatting with book Whoreders cause they're as weird as me.<br />7am- pack up all stuff, plus Halloween stuff for tomorrow at school plus gfcf cupcakes I made for another kid's bday at school cause I'm a control freak and need James (and Kristen's kids) to eat my food that I know every ingredient of. <br />Get kids dressed and Eve fed. Pack up meat as gift to nurse for going above and beyond. <br />7:45- start 45 min drive to dr.<br />Appt at 8:30am. Done by 9 with draw. Held James for about 15 min drinking chocolate pediasure to make sure he doesn't faint. Eat snack, bathroom, play with waiting room toys.<br />9:30am- head to toy store for some major overcompensation. Check.<br />Now we are off to school after another snack. Results not back for about 3 weeks. Soooo...for now...we're fine.<br />Fine.<br />....fine...<br /><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5940556975238403186'><img src='https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-ydmJhnTvKT4/UnEZGDUN1HI/AAAAAAAAA-s/6-t1D-mjb0c/s288/1383143671.251082.jpg' border='0' width='210' height='281' style='margin:5px'></a><br /><br />Clarehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09029460153866396509noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8640179608632771316.post-81600305071117151382013-10-19T06:14:00.001-07:002013-10-19T06:40:12.511-07:00Why Shit Doesn't Get DoneEveryone with kids knows how hard it is to get anything done with them around. One of my favorite sayings: cleaning your house with kids around is like brushing your teeth while eating Oreos. Truth. It's hard enough to do the things we don't maybe love to do even BEFORE we have kids.<br />But throw any type of special needs kid in and the difficulty increases exponentially. Everything becomes an emergency. Probably the special needs parent has learned to cope so well under pressure, that they thrive on it and thus put themselves in situations that create the stress they crave. You know, like booking 17 things in one day, or leaving things til the last minute. And when there is a moment to relax away from research, paperwork, therapy, heads spinning, you have to choose to take it, or get shit done. Depends on the shit, really, so you have to weigh the importance. Sometimes just letting shit go will make you a helluva lot happier than stressing about it.<br />For those with kids, think how disastrous your house gets when one of your kids has an illness. There are snot rags littering the floor, dirty bathrooms, unmade beds, laundry piled up, everyone wears PJs all day, showers are optional, dishes are dirty. Shoot, this could be me anyway. But then consider your child being ill ALL THE TIME. And while you get used to it and adapt, sadly, there has to be a level of acceptance into the chaos of your life or you'll go batshit crazy. Hopefully both parents reach the same level of acceptance together, or you'll drive EACH OTHER batshit crazy. <br />So if you come to my house and see faded toys and chairs scattered around the yard, and a kiddie pool still containing water even though it's October, don't judge. Consider, perhaps, that my old quirky dog detests water bowls but will drink from the kiddie pool, and I can't handle the added stress of getting her to drink, so we leave out the kiddie pool. <br />If you see our garage halfway cleaned out, and all the crap that needs to be sorted or thrown away is strewn around the front, consider the fact that the people we hired to do it never came back, and my husband only takes one day off a week. The kids and I would much rather have him spend time with us rather than out in the garage.<br />If you notice my dining room table has several stacks of paperwork for a really long time, then I tell you I cleaned and you see it stacked into 3 neat piles...you should understand that they are organized into "stuff that needs to be dealt with", "stuff that needs to be filed", and trash. And the trash pile will get to the trash can next time I walk that way with empty hands.<br />If you notice there are always dishes in my sink, consider the fact that they actually haven't been there that long, but that I cook food for my child constantly, so as soon as dishes are done, they are dirty immediately.<br />So instead of looking at our house that needs painting, TV that needs hanging, deck that needs fixing, cars that need washing, grass that needs tending, stink bugs that need vacuuming, windows that need cleaning, toys that need picking up, light bulbs that need replacing, laundry that needs folding, dogs that need bathing, etc etc etc ad infinitum....and thinking: 'wow, these people are rednecks', perhaps consider thinking: 'wow, these are some happy and really well adjusted people!'<br />And be glad you're not our neighbors. ;) And if you ARE our neighbors...well...be glad we're all a mile a part and there's a healthy tree line.<br /><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5936454348752412946'><img src='https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-hNafwXI33oQ/UmKFxwq14RI/AAAAAAAAA-c/46f_-VHSXeU/s288/22.jpg' border='0' width='210' height='281' style='margin:5px'></a><br /><br />Clarehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09029460153866396509noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8640179608632771316.post-41266152498129273442013-10-18T04:42:00.001-07:002013-10-18T04:42:29.803-07:00New chapter, same bookI've gotten a lot of texts asking how yesterday was, and so instead of typing it all out, again, I'm just gonna post some of those convos on here:<br /><br /><br /><br /><center><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5936059309332080274'><img src='https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-9mpRsofBqwU/UmEefcJjppI/AAAAAAAAA9E/_Nk00IrgQgw/s288/22.jpg' border='0' width='158' height='281' style='margin:5px'></a></center><br /><br /><br /><center><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5936059326946064722'><img src='https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-KPMPuIUcObM/UmEegdxDuVI/AAAAAAAAA9M/rVPC9p3-iXU/s288/23.jpg' border='0' width='158' height='281' style='margin:5px'></a></center><br /><br /><br /><center><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5936059341859906610'><img src='https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-1_mGPe6D2rk/UmEehVUy5DI/AAAAAAAAA9U/9gnDVIogcso/s288/24.jpg' border='0' width='158' height='281' style='margin:5px'></a></center><br /><br /><br /><center><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5936059359480957458'><img src='https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-tekrElE4GeU/UmEeiW9-yhI/AAAAAAAAA9c/L0i2Lj3Psy4/s288/25.jpg' border='0' width='158' height='281' style='margin:5px'></a></center><br /><br /><br /><center><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5936059381466923778'><img src='https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/--ncyKW3naTo/UmEejo32AwI/AAAAAAAAA9k/PSWxfc0E3OM/s288/26.jpg' border='0' width='158' height='281' style='margin:5px'></a></center><br /><br /><br /><center><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5936059399735523394'><img src='https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-WB9lLECXBoM/UmEeks7auEI/AAAAAAAAA9s/uvapChVfRRE/s288/27.jpg' border='0' width='158' height='281' style='margin:5px'></a></center><br /><br /><br /><center><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5936059419123822194'><img src='https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-8Xm370NurSE/UmEel1J8rnI/AAAAAAAAA90/J6srz7nx6lY/s288/28.jpg' border='0' width='158' height='281' style='margin:5px'></a></center><br /><br /><br /><center><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5936059436032295138'><img src='https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-l_m_bhOMsNo/UmEem0JPgOI/AAAAAAAAA98/Wc1TE_ZeDPs/s288/29.jpg' border='0' width='158' height='281' style='margin:5px'></a></center><br /><br /><br /><center><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5936059460526805810'><img src='https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-EN4s0EjWnU0/UmEeoPZMEzI/AAAAAAAAA-E/KtWY5DevPSE/s288/30.jpg' border='0' width='281' height='210' style='margin:5px'></a></center><br />This is the waiting room ^^^<br /><br /><center><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5936059476892733602'><img src='https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-1Qy57P53ST0/UmEepMXIUKI/AAAAAAAAA-M/ZY1zN22aB_A/s288/31.jpg' border='0' width='158' height='281' style='margin:5px'></a></center><br />Okay. We good? That's all I know. :)<br />Clarehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09029460153866396509noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8640179608632771316.post-82322290550696374732013-10-17T05:01:00.001-07:002013-10-17T05:01:34.894-07:00On the Road Again...Most of my blog posts should have a theme song. I wish it could play in the background while you read. Then you'd really be in my head for a while.<br /><br />For the past few days, Like a Virgin has been playing in my noggin nonstop.<br /><br />You're welcome.<br /><br />Anywhoooooo....we are...on the road again. Literally. On our way down to Lynchburg, VA to The Rimland Center. The NNY Autism Center I guess dismantled their out of state patient care due to state restrictions or something. It's a bummer because I was really hoping we were done with expensive deposits and new dr visits, endless paperwork, explaining The Story, and terrorizing James. But alas, no such luck.<br />On the plus side, I'm pretty excited about this place. If we had known what we were doing...at any time in the past few years, this is where we would have gone. But since James isn't autistic, we didn't know where to look. They have a biomedical approach to neurodevelopmental issues. AND they work closely with a nutritionist who's cookbook I've been using for a long while now. I'm sure we will need more bloodwork and who knows what, not to mention more visits, but at least it's only 3 hours away instead of 9....winning!<br />Also, this is James's 3rd day of a cold with a fever, where usually you should see a doctor....but I haven't taken my kids to a traditional medicine doctor in over a year, because they actually haven't needed it and also because I'm tired of explaining myself. So it's nice that we happen to be going to a doctor today to get him checked out.<br /><br />On another note, last week we got an invite to a picnic at Robert and Luciana Duvall's farm, which is about a mile from the barn.<br /><br /><br /><center><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5935693253595581426'><img src='https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-XyhflP7VZ_U/Ul_RkMQ_S_I/AAAAAAAAA8k/wYxyBqwpX5k/s288/22.jpg' border='0' width='210' height='281' style='margin:5px'></a></center><br />The kids were a good excuse to have our picture taken. But in reality, we should have had them take the picture of us cause they haven't seen Lonesome Dove, so they didn't understand the coolness of Augustus McRae. <br /><br /><br /><center><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5935693279943598978'><img src='https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-Wu5Wsrq9bXU/Ul_Rlua2I4I/AAAAAAAAA8s/qYwPbNa9YUE/s288/23.jpg' border='0' width='192' height='281' style='margin:5px'></a></center><br /><br /><br /><center><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5935693309749186610'><img src='https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-s8lO1052m1U/Ul_RnddDUDI/AAAAAAAAA80/5BOAV2a9QFo/s288/24.jpg' border='0' width='281' height='210' style='margin:5px'></a></center><br /><br />Clarehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09029460153866396509noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8640179608632771316.post-13740719067478955322013-09-26T12:23:00.001-07:002013-09-27T03:57:35.998-07:00True LoveI've often wondered, in that way that girls often do, what it is that made my husband fall for me, and stick with me through this crazy ride we've been on.<br />Let's face it....I'm no picnic to live with. I'm actually a complete pain in the ass a majority of the time. I know...my dad tells me so.<br />I'm a total know it all.<br />I will argue a point to death when I think I'm right, and because of the previous sentence...I'm pretty much always right.<br />I can be selfish and only think of how everything affects ME. <br />I'm expensive. Not cause I buy fancy stuff, but I eat a lot and stick with organic. <br />I don't take the trash out. Ever.<br />When I peel the sticker off an apple or lemon, I stick it on the side of the sink to throw away later. And by later I mean never.<br />I'm super weird and picky and if you make me a sandwich and things aren't spread evenly, I won't eat it.<br />I make my kids weird too.<br />But one of the hardest things to live with is probably that I'm completely unsympathetic to pain, illness, or discomfort. Take right now, for instance. Tom has a possible broken finger. I say possible because he hasn't been to a doctor, maybe cause it takes A LOT for us to go to the doctor, but....it looks fairly broken. Pretty sure it feels fairly broken. But...ALL I've done is make fun of him. (Okay, it IS his middle finger. I tried to convince him to put a splint on it so I could take a picture.) I mean it's a finger. He'll live. As I was explaining this to a friend today, I said something along the lines of, "oh he'll be fine, it's just he's never broken a bone before. I mean a real bone. He's just done his back and his rib when he punctured that lung." I didn't even realize the funniness of that until she started laughing and called me a "hardcore bitch." Whoops! <br />But it's nice to be married to someone who can laugh and lighten things that might not be too funny. Like when I had 2 broken arms, metal sticking out of one, and he made me hold his horse at a show. Or when i can't hold a pot with my left hand without it flopping over because of the aforementioned injury. Or when I got kicked by horse in the chest and thrown into a stucco wall and couldn't ride for a while so we decided to go to a NASCAR race, which wasn't actually fun per se but we laughed a lot at the horseshoe print on my chest and the rednecks (also, it hurt a lot to laugh). Or when Tom makes fun of my lack of reaction or reflexes, which comes in handy when riding a skittish horse but not so much when someone tries to...say...toss me the car keys. OH! Or the time Tom fell off the smallest horse in the barn and I almost peed myself. Or when this one horse would pin our legs against the rail in the ring and we'd be stuck until one of us realized what was going on. Okay, some of this is only funny to horse people, but I crack up every time! When you have kids, there will be times you are so tired and covered in shit or puke or who knows what and if you can't find the funny somewhere...you ain't gonna make it. Lord knows we've had some dark times, but eventually one of us will find a way to make the other laugh.<br />In going over our strange history together, I pinpointed the moment where it all happened. We were down in FL and had a big manure spreader but no ramp to wheel a wheelbarrow up to it and dump. Most people used smaller buckets and would dump it themselves, but we had 11 horses and no time. We'd fill up the biggest wheelbarrows and together we would 1, 2, 3 HEAVE 150 pounds of shit over our heads to land in the spreader (let's not forget our height difference here, people). Honestly, it was a bit miserable to do every day for 2 or 3 months, but EVERY time we'd get "heave", Tom would do something to make me laugh and the ridiculousness and hilarity of the moment would take over and THAT was the moment that he fell in love with me. He thought to himself, "this chick will do ANYTHING!"<br />Yep, pretty sure we fell in love at a manure spreader. The stuff of legends.<br /><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5928014362222917746'><img src='https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-vSvITUib3Uw/UkSJp4u1-HI/AAAAAAAAA7I/bubE87BrkhU/s288/22.jpg' border='0' width='252' height='281' style='margin:5px'></a><br /><br />Clarehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09029460153866396509noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8640179608632771316.post-89888521120297888752013-09-24T06:41:00.001-07:002013-09-24T07:17:21.140-07:00A Nation of ComplainersOverall....I'm a mostly positive person. I think it's partly due to the ability to have a bit of tunnel vision and definitely living in the moment. A few months ago I was reminiscing with my mom about when James was at UVA for so long and how I would walk him around the halls in a wagon and goof around. She said something about doing what you need to do and plastering a fake smile on your face. And I get that (truly), but fact is....I wasn't faking it. At those moments, chatting with my many nurse friends and joking with the doctors in my PJs...I was happy! Because the alternative was to be...not happy. I just had to make a choice.<br />The single most infuriating thing I see on Facebook is when people wrote FML. I'll be honest, I didn't know what this meant for a long time. Now when I see it, I truly want to punch people. Fuck my life? Really???<br />But I'm not perfect and its very easy to fall into the trap of worrying about all our first world problems. <br />We are a nation of complainers. "I'm going on vacation but I hate packing or flying or whatever."<br />"I love living in the country but it's so inconvenient."<br />"My kids' school is amazing but it costs a lot."<br />"I own horses but I have no money." (Right...)<br />Pay attention next time you ask someone how they're doing. I'm finding that when I do, I'm more shocked by the person that says, "I'm great!"than by the person that gives me a laundry list of all the shit in their lives. And I'm COMPLETELY guilty of this at times too. It's like it's not cool to be happy or enjoy your job, or your marriage, kids, house, vacation...<br />It's not to say I don't want to talk to my friends about stress in their lives. We all have it. But...I mean...most of the time...it's just not THAT bad. And the people who REALLY have it bad, or have had TRULY tough times...they're the ones that complain the least! Because they KNOW the alternative, and they've found a way to be happy a little bit every day.<br />And so, if next time you ask me, "how are you doing?" and I start immediately complaining, feel free to call me on it. I'll do the same to you.<br /><br />Clarehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09029460153866396509noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8640179608632771316.post-28917890479535248312013-09-20T03:55:00.001-07:002013-10-02T17:48:10.858-07:00Why I Love My Friends So MuchI'm very picky about my friends. I don't.....enjoy...most...people....<br />Sorry, is that rude? Safe to say, if you're reading this, I enjoy you, so we are good. <br />Here's the thing about my closest friends...<br />They show up at my house forgetting or just forgoing shoes.<br />They are the fastest texters ever and can do it even while riding a horse, therefore readily available.<br />They don't sleep in.<br /><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5925656954527197362'><img src='https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-xUfzJuZw-z4/UjwpmstqqLI/AAAAAAAAA3s/l7IeI48EJ9g/s288/12.jpg' border='0' width='158' height='281' style='margin:5px'></a><br /><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5925656973289191570'><img src='https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-XIfSYs4wySM/Ujwpnym3-JI/AAAAAAAAA30/K3rQHvklElU/s288/13.jpg' border='0' width='158' height='281' style='margin:5px'></a><br /><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5925656992641265986'><img src='https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-o1OEzSKUg50/Ujwpo6sxMUI/AAAAAAAAA38/ZWN993OAjUw/s288/14.jpg' border='0' width='158' height='281' style='margin:5px'></a><br />See!!! I heart them.<br />Sarcasm. They get it.<br />They've sent the most appropriate care packages to various hospitals.<br />They...um...they drink.<br />They're amazing multitaskers, so a question can get answered or a trip planned while they're dealing with another 2 year old or shooting an ad in LA.<br />They can flat out tell me what to do and I'll listen (this is a big one).<br />And they're funny. I mean...really funny....<br /><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5925657013098215442'><img src='https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-G05vt-VDmQc/UjwpqG6FeBI/AAAAAAAAA4E/OltoGvSkQQU/s288/15.jpg' border='0' width='158' height='281' style='margin:5px'></a><br /><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5925658755177500722'><img src='https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-x5R95CW2I0U/UjwrPgqJ0DI/AAAAAAAAA4Y/iqYEbvQ1-28/s288/12.jpg' border='0' width='158' height='281' style='margin:5px'></a><br /><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5925658779761989394'><img src='https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-UIbGFgsr9l4/UjwrQ8PjVxI/AAAAAAAAA4g/uQSbMwOfFWc/s288/13.jpg' border='0' width='187' height='281' style='margin:5px'></a><br />And above all, they get me and all my weirdness...<br /><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5925657030849204722'><img src='https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-UqIIlXcCB-E/UjwprJCQEfI/AAAAAAAAA4M/uHZl16dyOdc/s288/20.jpg' border='0' width='281' height='118' style='margin:5px'></a><br /><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5925658796975417234'><img src='https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-wvgg4RpCf4Y/UjwrR8XjZ5I/AAAAAAAAA4o/dE6jOoh8MMk/s288/14.jpg' border='0' width='281' height='242' style='margin:5px'></a><br /><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5925664638231240562'><img src='https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-Sc87v63fbnU/Ujwwl8vd33I/AAAAAAAAA44/GcEW-9mJFYA/s288/13.jpg' border='0' width='278' height='281' style='margin:5px'></a><br /><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5925664655294191458'><img src='https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-Xeuj4ndIYRg/Ujwwm8Tl12I/AAAAAAAAA5A/dk6N5v0EWGc/s288/14.jpg' border='0' width='158' height='281' style='margin:5px'></a><br /><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5925673636763233138'><img src='https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-nqQ_8etEo2U/Ujw4xu4ra3I/AAAAAAAAA5Q/nMT0mqomqrc/s288/13.jpg' border='0' width='158' height='281' style='margin:5px'></a><br /><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5926052274716081234'><img src='https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-o86NVFQ4HbM/Uj2RJXLY_FI/AAAAAAAAA5g/YGW9wm_vA1c/s288/13.jpg' border='0' width='158' height='281' style='margin:5px'></a><br /><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5926405626669884498'><img src='https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-_B6dhdS6vLg/Uj7ShJyI5FI/AAAAAAAAA5w/5O7hCgubf4w/s288/13.jpg' border='0' width='158' height='281' style='margin:5px'></a><br /><br /><br /><center><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5930324581124133010'><img src='https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-Xb_nLXli024/Uky-yUyr0JI/AAAAAAAAA78/HLk84VDtc7Y/s288/22.jpg' border='0' width='158' height='281' style='margin:5px'></a></center><br />Thanks guys.<br />Also, if you notice people missing, it's cause they're texts are so far beyond inappropriate....and I love them for that even more.<br />Clarehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09029460153866396509noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8640179608632771316.post-40626663088018772902013-09-14T05:27:00.001-07:002013-09-14T06:26:23.464-07:00Because my Ego is HUGEFor the first time since our honeymoon, Tom and I went away, BY OURSELVES, for our 6 year anniversary. And while no one probably cares too much, part of the purpose of this blog is to document this while process we're going through, and this is a momentous occasion worth documenting.<br />Since James has finally reached 30 lbs (more or less---still fluctuates), I felt semi-comfortable leaving him in my parents' capable hands for a few days. When I say capable, I mean this: my dad's job was to entertain and distract from the fact we were gone; my mom's job was to make sure they survived my dad's distractions. Success!<br />Anyway, we took the train up to NYC and pretty much planned our trip around food and beverage. I wanted to schedule as little as possible so we could just do...WHATEVER WE WANTED!!!! It was amazing, and made largely possible (aside from my parents) by my wonderful friend, Annie, who made us the world's most amazing cheat sheet of how to do everything we should, and she knows since I like what she likes. And my long time friend Natalie, who lives in NYC and will soon be starting her own blog of restaurant recommendations and things to do. We were set! And we managed to pack a lot in without ever feeling rushed, which, turns out, is pretty easy when you can't help but wake up at 6am...<br />We had a great time, ate a lot but walked it off, and drank a lot so my liver was tired but prevailed.<br /><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5923454060128809922'><img src='https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-OJA2RXdkQ2c/UjRWFXlSs8I/AAAAAAAAA0o/GLDTduIxLfE/s288/12.jpg' border='0' width='210' height='281' style='margin:5px'></a><br /><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5923454096084890498'><img src='https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-LAOsDTt38a4/UjRWHdh484I/AAAAAAAAA0w/7t-PG1JFIbM/s288/13.jpg' border='0' width='210' height='281' style='margin:5px'></a><br />My liver wasn't sure whether to be alarmed or comforted by this...<br /><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5923454117172139794'><img src='https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-tf8636eQOHM/UjRWIsFe1xI/AAAAAAAAA04/9EQ8NIicFbY/s288/14.jpg' border='0' width='210' height='281' style='margin:5px'></a><br />Just the sight of all this gluten....<br /><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5923454136376575826'><img src='https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-aOC2CY0ek9s/UjRWJzoLR1I/AAAAAAAAA1A/878lnNPtaxw/s288/15.jpg' border='0' width='210' height='281' style='margin:5px'></a><br />And those were pretty much the only pictures we took except for this...just because....<br /><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5923454158176330674'><img src='https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-OKtJ7EChQGc/UjRWLE1pI7I/AAAAAAAAA1I/ShunH9XrzR4/s288/16.jpg' border='0' width='210' height='281' style='margin:5px'></a><br />So we returned home to happy, healthy kids who were very happy to see us, which is rewarding, and very tired parents, who were possibly even more happy to see us. They left the next day, both kids started school the day after that...and then.....<br />Okay this requires a little explanation. A few months ago I joined up with this hilariously inappropriate blog that reviews romance novels. There are 6 of us, and put us together on a group chat and the most convoluted and entertaining conversation will ensue. I love these girls. I'll share the blog but I've already told my family they don't need to read it. Some things are best left swept under the rug. But for others who love to read, we write very honest reviews of all sorts of books, so long as there are hot guys in them.<br /><a target="_blank" href="http://whoredersdelights.blogspot.com/?m=1&zx=8d50c63edd48a8fd">The Book Whoreders</a><br />A while back, the blog reviewed a book called The Wingman Chronicles. The best way to describe it is this review:<br /><a target="_blank" href="http://whoredersdelights.blogspot.com/2013/07/the-wingman-chronicles-by-james-holeva.html?m=1">http://whoredersdelights.blogspot.com/2013/07/the-wingman-chronicles-by-james-holeva.html?m=1</a><br />Hysterical, right??<br />Again, if you're family, just don't tell me if you read that.<br />Over time, the Book Whoreders have corresponded with and pimped out The Wingman himself. So when an opportunity came that some of us could meet in Cleveland to see his show, for the first time since James was born (and really ever), I thought, 'hey, I could go...'<br />I got to fly on a plane all by myself (!!!!!!!), meaning without kids. I'd have been happy to have Tom with me, but I don't think my parents could have handled any more bonding time. I met my Internet friends (omg) as one sweetly picked me up from the airport and then at our hotel with a view of Lake Eerie, that looks suspiciously like the ocean...<br />See:<br /><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5923454180273055698'><img src='https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-Ph7V6RGOrz4/UjRWMXJ6Z9I/AAAAAAAAA1Q/FNhUX2t4bdA/s288/17.jpg' border='0' width='210' height='281' style='margin:5px'></a><br />We walked what seemed like many miles due to a confusion of east and west to the club where we proceeded to stay until basically the next morning. No, actually it was the next morning...<br />These girls are amazing. I love them.<br /><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5923454203089649010'><img src='https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-3WNtWm8UF5c/UjRWNsJz_XI/AAAAAAAAA1Y/KoPMaqtHfMY/s288/18.jpg' border='0' width='281' height='210' style='margin:5px'></a><br /><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5923454224697704210'><img src='https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-Ur-jf6IvJgU/UjRWO8pkvxI/AAAAAAAAA1g/iW0fsWrY8HU/s288/19.jpg' border='0' width='281' height='210' style='margin:5px'></a><br /><br /><br /><center><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5923469345153115010'><img src='https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-W1XPo_DoKE4/UjRj_EvEY4I/AAAAAAAAA2A/lahZZNVAgOI/s288/12.jpg' border='0' width='281' height='210' style='margin:5px'></a></center><br />And yes, I got spanked on stage, because in Tom's words, of course I did. (I almost fell down--shoulda worn flip flops)<br /><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5923454250001603426'><img src='https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-sxqB7ZkTh9w/UjRWQa6fm2I/AAAAAAAAA1o/aP0d7wFi3Ew/s288/20.jpg' border='0' width='210' height='281' style='margin:5px'></a><br /><br />The show was just about the funniest thing I've ever seen. If you're ever in an area to see him, do it. There are links to creep on him in the blog post.<br />So after getting back to the hotel at 3-something, I decided I may as well just stay up until my 6am flight home. Since weekends are busiest for us, I had to have our wonderful babysitter show up at 5 am so Tom could get to middleburg. She's a saint and I had to go rescue her. <br />It was worth it though, I got to sit in the lobby and watch police officers try to calm down an irate patron who's brother was arrested for dropping the F-bomb. Cleveland rocks.<br /><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5923454267991628882'><img src='https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-mSqzr9VmWEY/UjRWRd7pnFI/AAAAAAAAA1w/N-DlqrG6_hs/s288/21.jpg' border='0' width='210' height='281' style='margin:5px'></a><br />Clarehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09029460153866396509noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8640179608632771316.post-38925922536736438762013-09-12T07:09:00.001-07:002013-09-12T07:09:37.378-07:00Feel a BreathThere's this thing a friend came up with a long time ago. It's called Bombshell Burnout. Sometimes, you can only keep up your amazingness for so long. I've had a pretty severe case of it this summer. You'd think with summer break I'd have all sorts of therapy set up and be all organized doing it at home...ummmm...<br />And I have so many wonderful friends who feed my ego telling me what a wonderful mom I am, how they don't know how I do it...<br />There's a guilty part of me that needs to let out the fact that sometimes...I don't do it. I get tired and let my kids watch TV to the point where they ask to turn it off. I go ahead and just feed James myself just to get it done. I make the same thing for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snacks so I don't have to think about it or worry about what will set him off.<br />So I'd say....we haven't made a ton of progress this summer. I remember, years ago, when we thought that by this time, all this shit would be a distant, crappy memory. That didn't happen...<br />Anyway, I've been focused on health and calories, which really isn't beneficial from a therapeutic standpoint. But I am still not comfortable enough with his health to really properly turn the reins over to him like I do Eve. I don't worry if Eve doesn't eat much at any time because I know she'll make up for it. Also, he actually eats a large volume of food, without a ton of weight gain, so I know we are missing something in the absorption department. I'm thinking once that is resolved, I'll feel a lot better about relaxing.<br />I should clarify, I'm just talking about feeding, which is a ridiculously frustrating and slow process. Other aspects of James as a person...are astounding. He has continued to overcome so much and gives me pause frequently when he completes a task I had no idea he could. Things that come so easy for other kids. Things like putting his own shoes on, going to the bathroom, helping feed the dogs, climbing over a gate, singing a song...<br />He's so dang smart, and I have these expectations of him acting like a little adult, sometimes I forget he's only 5 and has skipped some really important developmental steps and life is HARD! Those moments where he comes up with a funny line and I pause and think, oh my gosh. That was such a little boy thing to say!! Or that was so normal!! Lol<br />Those pauses allow me not only to take a breath, but actually feel it. And I know that even if it takes us a little longer than I'd like, it's going to be okay.<br /><br /><br />Clarehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09029460153866396509noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8640179608632771316.post-22227721546718042013-08-23T07:44:00.001-07:002013-08-23T07:44:58.259-07:00The Great Gluten DebateSomeone needs to fix this. I like to blame celebrities for thinking we all need to know what they think about things. Most people should just care what I think about things, so here goes: ;)<br /><br />I get asked, excitedly, all the time if I feel amazingly better since our household went gluten free. Um...no. I feel the same. I didn't have gut issues before; I don't have them now. If you do have gut issues, go to your doctor and determine of gluten is a problem. If you don't carry whatever gene or whatever causes a reaction to gluten, whether that be celiac or an intolerance, then going gluten free won't do anything. There are lots of crappy substitute gluten free foods for all the crappy gluten full foods out there.<br />The other question I'm asked is if I've lost a bunch of weight going gluten free. Again, no. I've lost weight because I run several miles a day, and eat fresh vegetables and grass fed meats every day. And I drink wine, because it helps everything. Gluten is not the be all end all of everything. <br />I say this because of another question I get asked all the time with great skepticism: sooooo, do you think the gluten free diet is helping James?<br />To these people, I actually want to throat punch you a bit. I mean, let's see....we've been struggling pretty much since James' birth for him to gain weight and be healthy, he's had multiple lengthy hospital stays, a fucking feeding tube (!!!), PICC lines when he could no longer absorb nutrients the old fashioned way, baffled the international medical community, and NOW, after being GF for a year (along with many other additions, done methodically of course), he's....pretty damn good. He's not 100%, but the average person wouldn't know that looking at him. And anyone who had seen him in the past would be shocked at the transformation. So, yep, I think it's helped a bit.<br /><br />But because of this skepticism, I don't trust any restaurant or most other people around my son's food. I have to pack food wherever we go, which isn't inherently bad, but it'd be nice sometimes if going out to eat what a treat instead of a hassle. I have to watch other parents who are handing out food to make sure they realize I wasn't kidding. I get the eye roll when I explain James is GF and I basically tell people he'll die if he touches gluten. That's clearly a bit of an exaggeration, but I blame this stupid fad that belittles the seriousness of a necessary gluten free diet! Stop it!<br />Rant over. In conclusion, no, I don't feel any different eating gluten free. And yes, it makes a big difference for James. Thx.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Clarehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09029460153866396509noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8640179608632771316.post-14583106403405377342013-08-13T06:42:00.001-07:002013-08-13T06:42:01.248-07:00Birthday RedoI've been meaning to post this since my birthday, and it's halfway through August soooo.....<br />Things have been busy! But good. A far cry from last year, that's for sure. Last year I spent my birthday in the hospital in Dallas talking to a bunch of doctors who didn't know...much..., while my parents drove my precious little one year old over for visits.<br />This time last year we were still in Dallas, living at my parents, with James hooked up to a PICC line and Eve sleeping in the closet. Have I mentioned how awesome my parents are?<br />Anyway, that whole experience was sort of a waste in the sense that we were hoping that even with all the awfulness, surely someone was going to figure out what was wrong, finally. But that didn't happen so really it just sucked. I think 6 months later we were back where we started. <br />That, though, sent us on the path to New York, and THAT is what led us to this amazing summer we are having!<br />James looks so great and is still slowly gaining weight. Mostly, he feels good and acts bad!! ;). <br /><br /><br /><center><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5911598552065306594'><img src='https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-A1dupMMJj-0/Ugo3j-aQ7-I/AAAAAAAAAw4/xTqERdZOBJg/s288/11.jpg' border='0' width='210' height='281' style='margin:5px'></a></center><br />Eve is the same.<br /><br /><br /><center><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5911598572563807218'><img src='https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-bHJQJU-nGZM/Ugo3lKxfO_I/AAAAAAAAAxA/KovQpvuPskI/s288/12.jpg' border='0' width='210' height='281' style='margin:5px'></a></center><br />It's helped that we are having the best weather in the history of VA summers, so we've spent a lot of time at the barn with BOTH kids riding. James never wanted to ride much before because he felt miserable all the time and then would get too hot or cold. Not only is the weather perfect, but he seems to be able to regulate his temperature better. I'm assuming just from his neurological health improving. He can go swimming without turning blue in 5 seconds. Things are kind of....still moving towards normal....<br />Well, we're easy to please. Things are far from normal, but we are basically functional now! So that's a plus. Just hoping we can keep this trajectory and maybe next summer we can do something crazy normal...like go on a vacation....<br /><br /><br /><center><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5911598595298067602'><img src='https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-TzfBlT7g7PA/Ugo3mfdwhJI/AAAAAAAAAxI/7oDV6LJh8b4/s288/13.jpg' border='0' width='210' height='281' style='margin:5px'></a></center><br /><br /><br /><center><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5911598614563395410'><img src='https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-FKlyBK69mqU/Ugo3nnO-F1I/AAAAAAAAAxQ/dCGsZV_Yzeg/s288/14.jpg' border='0' width='281' height='210' style='margin:5px'></a></center><br />Barn rats.<br /><br /><br /><center><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5911598635201651810'><img src='https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-w7ldHF4oqzg/Ugo3o0Hg5GI/AAAAAAAAAxY/LJ1BpdDDO3M/s288/15.jpg' border='0' width='210' height='281' style='margin:5px'></a></center><br />(We are holding her leg)<br /><br /><br /><center><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5911598652299645234'><img src='https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-zTIADVi0NlU/Ugo3pzz_kTI/AAAAAAAAAxg/FN1VIbjslPs/s288/16.jpg' border='0' width='151' height='281' style='margin:5px'></a></center><br /><br />Clarehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09029460153866396509noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8640179608632771316.post-6360149568300498622013-07-30T05:03:00.001-07:002013-07-30T05:03:11.027-07:00Good Things Come to Those Who WaitAnd fly all over the country. And drive thousands of miles. And spend months in the hospital. And make loads of mistakes. And spend shit tons of money on things that may or may not help.<br />And...wait.<br /><br />Last week James had his school camp. Usually he goes for a couple hours, 3 days a week. They run awesome camps in the summer that are all week and 5 hours long. That may not sound that long to you, but to a kid who barely eats on his own and has all sorts of bathroom issues, it is basically eternity. The last time we tried this, he had to take a day off in the middle, I ended up having to go at lunchtime to feed him and take him to the bathroom, and less than a month later we were back in the hospital for over a month. Again.<br />So to say I felt some trepidation is...putting it mildly. I knew he was in a better place than last year, obviously, but I was afraid we'd lose what little ground we've gained recently and I just sooooo didn't want to move backwards.<br />What I ended up doing was have him eat his usual gfcf pancake breakfast, then we'd get to school and I'd feed him pediasure pudding which he actually doesn't like but it makes a big difference in his day. Then for his lunch I packed his fake cheese and trail mix cause I know he eats it the best on his own. The problem is that he's very easily distracted so during lunch, if no one reminded him, he would maybe take a couple of bites but mostly would be watching other kids or playing in his creative little head. Of course, SMILE was great and helped give him reminders and he did pretty darn well. When I picked him up I would sit in the parking lot and feed him his gfcf Mac n cheese, then we'd drive home and then basically it was time for dinner and bed. Everything revolved around the meals. It sort of took me back to the tube feeding days (PTSD).<br />Oh also, you know we carry a small toilet everywhere we go because last year he associated how sick he was with a normal toilet, which he'd had no problem with before. Partly it's great because we drive long distances with no bathrooms in between so unless we want to knock on a farmhouse door, it works. Plus Eve has potty trained herself so it's proved useful. But still, it sort of became a panic situation if you didn't have the frigging potty everywhere. He wouldn't even pee outside. And I mean...full blown panic attack. <br />We haven't been actually worried about the long term effects of this. I figured he probably wouldn't be heading off to college with a potty slung over his shoulder, so it's all good. But it sure would be nice if it was a non issue. And all if a sudden..it is! First he peed outside (I'm aware he's gonna hate me someday for documenting all this) and I've never been more redneck proud. Then he stood up to pee in the toilet. Then he started using the big toilet like he's been doin it forever. I still carry the little potty around cause I'd just rather be safe than sorry, but so far...non issue! Amazing. And life changing.<br />So camp was a success. He didn't actually gain any weight that week, but he didn't lose at all so we count that as huge. And, of course, he had an absolute blast!<br /><br /><br /><center><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5906377954409089010'><img src='https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-FysUf_K9g4s/UferdMnAh_I/AAAAAAAAAsA/mEkOo3ptPKE/s288/11.jpg' border='0' width='210' height='281' style='margin:5px'></a></center><br /><br /><br /><center><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5906377976529765986'><img src='https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-8eIHvI4qQhg/UferefA_RmI/AAAAAAAAAsI/NE2s664iJDs/s288/12.jpg' border='0' width='151' height='281' style='margin:5px'></a></center><br /><br /><br /><center><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5906377993606481554'><img src='https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-RXkYCBCskD8/UferfeoZRpI/AAAAAAAAAsQ/OmdXHVaLHgY/s288/13.jpg' border='0' width='210' height='281' style='margin:5px'></a></center><br /><br />Clarehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09029460153866396509noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8640179608632771316.post-64741917724972482192013-07-11T05:00:00.001-07:002013-07-11T05:00:51.742-07:00Budgie BoyA few months ago I made a quiet declaration that has taken on a life of its own. You see, James loves birds. Loves probably isn't a strong enough word. His focus on them is amazing. He can name the most obscure bird out there. It's just like he is with airplanes. And for those wondering, yes, he still loves airplanes. He loves anything that flies because "that's how God made him." Argue with that.<br />Anyway, James has been doing so well eating, but his independent eating was fairly stagnant. To be fair, he has never had to do it on his own, so it just doesn't occur to him. He's more than happy to eat, but you have to remind him pretty much every bite. It's like coming out of Shawshank around here.<br />I mumbled to Tom that if he starts eating by himself, I'll buy him a cockatiel. Well...TOM TOLD HIM!!! Lol. James got so excited that I have to admit, his independent eating has skyrocketed. Small snacks he will do all by himself with no reminders and if we break his larger meals into sections, he is doing darn well. And when we do help him eat, he is sooooo much faster. It's rather amazing and life is soooooo much easier. That being said, we were quickly heading toward getting a cockatiel. I started researching, and then started dropping hints that maybe a parakeet would be more fun. ;). Horrible mom. But honestly, I was shooting too high with the cockatiel. Doesn't matter cause he had cockatiel on his mind and that's not easy to change.<br />Until....<br />We went to this weird mini zoo in Reston where they have a big budgie (same as parakeet) aviary that you go into with sticks of food and they flock to you.<br /><br /><br /><center><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5899326649171018210'><img src='https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-wdvyp0E13OU/Ud6eVNnVgeI/AAAAAAAAAoc/bpQ6CdSBwEA/s288/11.jpg' border='0' width='210' height='281' style='margin:5px'></a></center><br /><br /><br /><center><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5899326668416743218'><img src='https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-BUX9-3xRKhY/Ud6eWVT39zI/AAAAAAAAAok/s-k1fjJlNXI/s288/12.jpg' border='0' width='210' height='281' style='margin:5px'></a></center><br /><br /><br /><center><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5899326696754336786'><img src='https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/--GXD2HXmbWs/Ud6eX-4FVBI/AAAAAAAAAos/upRsxTZjQSc/s288/13.jpg' border='0' width='210' height='281' style='margin:5px'></a></center><br /><br /><br /><center><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5899326712976457298'><img src='https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-kw7jnTNc3Qg/Ud6eY7TvPlI/AAAAAAAAAo0/H33e0uuFAM8/s288/14.jpg' border='0' width='210' height='281' style='margin:5px'></a></center><br /><br /><p align='center'><object type="application/x-shockwave-flash" data="http://www.youtube.com/v/gv1EV85Tqw8" width="400" height="300"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/gv1EV85Tqw8" /><param name="quality" value="high" /><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><!-- Fallback content --><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gv1EV85Tqw8"><img src="http://img.youtube.com/vi/gv1EV85Tqw8/0.jpg" width="400" height="300" />YouTube Video</a></object></p>Operation Cockatiel aborted. Operation Budgie commenced.<br />Phew.<br />Clarehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09029460153866396509noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8640179608632771316.post-596051440630273402013-07-05T17:22:00.001-07:002013-07-05T17:22:09.135-07:00No June GloomMy kids and husband were all born the end of June. In fact, we only recently realized that they weren't all Cancers, and Eve is on the line of a Gemini. Cause we are super observant and awesome. I learnt it because a woman at the airport on the way back from Texas expressed her condolences on raising a Gemini. Then I googled and realized that because she's on the line, she's basically a Gemini AND and Cancer. Emotions run high. Oh, right, plus my Leo-ness...rough waters ahead. Lol! I can't wait.<br /><br />All that aside, these birthdays were probably the best ever. Looking back, I didn't realize how absolutely awful those other birthdays have been. That's due to my remarkable ability to ignore the stuff I don't want to see. There are some pros and cons to this...<br />We went to Texas for the first time in a year. I've never been an entire year without going to Texas. I've barely gone a few months. It was so interesting to reflect back on our last flight out there. Eve was not even walking and was still nursing, while now she has potty trained herself (I take no credit) and speaks in full and (mostly) intelligible sentences. James, last time, slept, had 2 potty accidents, barely ate, and cried in hysterics in the bathroom for 20 min. This time he played games the whole way, ate like a champ, did normal bathroom type stuff, and laughed and goofed. Within a day of our last trip, we knew we were headed back to the hospital. There are no words except awful. As in, full of awe over how bad it was. This time, he swam, played with his cousins, blew out his birthday candles, AND ate birthday cake all by himself. This was the first time I think he even realized what the occasion was and cared. And that's not just because of his age, but because he's just not miserable. It was fun. It was still stressful and it still required management and food prep (I think the TSA just knows when I'm coming now), but...it was fun! <br />We came home and everything was...fine! Normal (for us). It's actually weird. Normal is weird. <br />James continues to veeeeery slowly gain weight, but more importantly, he looks great. His dark circles are still present, but fading. His stamina is out of this world. He actually has a tan, which he never had because he couldn't be outside long enough to get one. He's sliding into the kiddie pool and laughing when a eve squirts him with the hose. He's learning more and more to eat by himself. And he's gaining more interest in new foods, which is weird. :)<br />We are, as always it seems, a long way from ok in the traditional sense, but we aren't traditional, so we're great. He still has diarrhea every day (that's not normal), he doesn't chew foods quite right, and he does get tired. But....while that may sound pretty bad if you were to put a "typical" child in that category, he's progressing. And, dare I say, healing? One can hope. Our plan for a while is to just keep doing exactly what we are doing, and see how it goes. Lord knows we're pretty good at that!<br /><br /><br /><center><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5897291188247709138'><img src='https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-x-qUmjUZl7I/UddjFyyLxdI/AAAAAAAAAnk/KJqjatZRCyA/s288/11.jpg' border='0' width='210' height='281' style='margin:5px'></a></center><br /><br /><br /><center><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5897291206962011746'><img src='https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-7IvTaXjEdaQ/UddjG4gBXmI/AAAAAAAAAns/jm7TDph2Vto/s288/12.jpg' border='0' width='231' height='281' style='margin:5px'></a></center><br /><br /><br /><center><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5897291223983619490'><img src='https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-6fBib1oXqvA/UddjH36SfaI/AAAAAAAAAn0/lV2lSg4Q_PE/s288/13.jpg' border='0' width='210' height='281' style='margin:5px'></a></center><br /><br /><br /><center><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5897291236131177922'><img src='https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-lH--L_JSD8I/UddjIlKfhcI/AAAAAAAAAn8/OnFRdCoEV24/s288/14.jpg' border='0' width='210' height='281' style='margin:5px'></a></center><br /><br /><br /><center><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5897291252778976754'><img src='https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-BPbtENxxxiE/UddjJjLoxfI/AAAAAAAAAoE/lvsOEZWPS6U/s288/15.jpg' border='0' width='281' height='210' style='margin:5px'></a></center><br /><br /><br /><center><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5897291294060758338'><img src='https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-Zr1lLSsonrs/UddjL89-xUI/AAAAAAAAAoM/v8FLF2qltvM/s288/16.jpg' border='0' width='281' height='187' style='margin:5px'></a></center><br /><br />Clarehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09029460153866396509noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8640179608632771316.post-84183541697488724832013-06-16T06:21:00.001-07:002013-06-16T06:21:24.693-07:00My Kids' FatherNot enough is said of how amazing the father of my children is. Our life has taken a turn we never imagined and we either had to adapt or...I guess...not. The dad is sometimes left in the dust in our type of circumstances as the mom has tunnel vision on fixing the kid. And sometimes it's the opposite, but I'll try and only speak of what I know. ;). I do know that a lot of marriages don't make it in usual circumstances, and add the stress of raising a "special needs" child...the odds are not in your favor. It has changed us. We've had to let things go, like the idea of a clean house, or an organized file system, or taking the trash out, or going on a date for 3 years, or a real vacation, or sleeping in a room (or bed) by ourselves, or putting money into savings, or a clean vehicle (let's face it, my truck has never been clean; he knew better). I'm going to quote my always wise friend, Christa's, text here when I mentioned how scarred we are (in a funny way):<br />"Ohhhh does it scar!!!! Life takes on a whole new meaning when your child is not going down the "normal" path!!! The sweetness and innocence of life goes away and you go to war, fight like hell, leave life as you knew it in the dust to find the path for your child! It is bitter sweet and wonderful to see success but it changes you forever! " I can't think of any way to say it better!<br />We had to let go of all our preconceived ideas about how life would work after having kids. I've barely ridden a horse in 5 years and we were supposed to be running the business together! I would spend 4 hours every night trying to get James to sleep and doing his nightly tube feed trying to avoid the vomit, while Tom was sitting alone in the living room without ever complaining. To the point where I sort of forgot that that might suck for him too. He is my rock and my sense of humor and while so many people kindly tell me what a great mom I am, I am nothing without this man and everything he does for our family. The most important thing I can do for our kids is love their father, and make sure they know it. My parents were the same way, and so were my grandparents, so I know how fortunate I've been to have these examples of wonderful fathers and marriages in my life. And I'm so glad I found the person to carry on that tradition with! Happy Father's Day to all the amazing dads I've met through the years!!!<br /><br /><br /><center><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5890070346899203794'><img src='https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-inaX9JrY8NA/Ub27xgj9JtI/AAAAAAAAAnE/TvNijG-UzhM/s288/11.jpg' border='0' width='281' height='187' style='margin:5px'></a></center><br /><br /><br /><center><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5890070367556505954'><img src='https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-YGSEIVJ8EnM/Ub27ythCkWI/AAAAAAAAAnM/tuBsvk8GgXI/s288/12.jpg' border='0' width='210' height='281' style='margin:5px'></a></center><br /><br /><br /><center><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5890070398408394914'><img src='https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-dK4Fb-kqhLc/Ub270gctCKI/AAAAAAAAAnU/Z4ySFqatSkE/s288/13.jpg' border='0' width='281' height='210' style='margin:5px'></a></center><br /><br />Clarehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09029460153866396509noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8640179608632771316.post-31332717920582434472013-06-11T15:41:00.001-07:002013-06-11T15:41:36.532-07:00My Little Co-CaptainToday was the end of the year program at SMILE. I always get so excited to see this because we don't get to snoop much during the year. Too distracting, though I've been known to hide and eavesdrop on occasion. :). This was James' third performance since he's been at this amazing school, and each time we see such incredible improvement from each kid. I constantly have to fight from tearing up. And when they put up a slideshow to music, I have to kind of distract myself. Lol. <br />But today was beyond words.<br />If you watch this video:<br /><br />http://youtu.be/pNWD-xDIhXA<br /><br />You will see how difficult just walking on the balance beam was. This was about 8ish months ago. He was very scared of heights and always wanted help with stations.<br />Here is today:<br /><br />http://youtu.be/7joQud398Hs<br /><br />We were completely blown away. 6 months ago he wouldn't somersault, he held a hand to walk on the balance beam, he couldn't jump down off of anything, and even with help wouldn't flip over the bar.<br />You can't imagine all the work and patience that he and his wonderful teachers have put into all this. We are so grateful and so proud of the person he is becoming. And we are equally proud of all the kids who performed today, some who have it all down pat and some who are where James was last year. I can't wait to see how far they come in just a few short months!<br /><br /> Song:<br />http://youtu.be/7FgnEm9c7Eo<br /><br />Award:<br />http://youtu.be/QZ84i_CaqGM<br /><br /><br /><br /><center><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5888359311654601810'><img src='https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-dmOL0J0_bZE/UbenmJkJRFI/AAAAAAAAAmk/a0CMrYXCDTA/s288/11.jpg' border='0' width='210' height='281' style='margin:5px'></a></center><br />Big boy!<br /><br /><br /><center><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5888359322916614930'><img src='https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-GUIvScaaZuA/UbenmzhN8xI/AAAAAAAAAms/gTUFUHKjRwc/s288/12.jpg' border='0' width='210' height='281' style='margin:5px'></a></center><br /><br /><br /><center><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5888359340706719650'><img src='https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-yYxgy34Pi5k/Ubenn1ytZ6I/AAAAAAAAAm0/dKN5OPHwSN0/s288/13.jpg' border='0' width='210' height='281' style='margin:5px'></a></center><br />And let's not forget his incredibly supportive sidekick!!!! She rocketed across the balance beam all by herself. Miss "No I Do It."<br />Clarehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09029460153866396509noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8640179608632771316.post-63565313436613056812013-06-01T17:32:00.001-07:002013-06-01T17:32:43.951-07:00Celebrating<br /><br /><center><a href='https://picasaweb.google.com/109692757272921280602/SensationalMomOrTryingAnyway?authkey=Gv1sRgCOi81dnz24GpbA#5884677123135032098'><img src='https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-zoEfCqLryZs/UaqSqkZUyyI/AAAAAAAAAmU/LEqgtvOSIvQ/s288/11.jpg' border='0' width='210' height='281' style='margin:5px'></a></center><br />So my birthday is next month. I mean, at the end of next month. Like...the very last day. So if you wanna get all technical, it's "technically" 2 months away. But I'm not super technical. Therefore, I'm starting to drink from my birthday glass now...because every day is a celebration, even if its just "yay! I found my shoes!" to "yay! Nobody pooped on the floor!". It's all good.<br />Clarehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09029460153866396509noreply@blogger.com0