Sunday, June 16, 2013

My Kids' Father

Not enough is said of how amazing the father of my children is. Our life has taken a turn we never imagined and we either had to adapt or...I guess...not. The dad is sometimes left in the dust in our type of circumstances as the mom has tunnel vision on fixing the kid. And sometimes it's the opposite, but I'll try and only speak of what I know. ;). I do know that a lot of marriages don't make it in usual circumstances, and add the stress of raising a "special needs" child...the odds are not in your favor. It has changed us. We've had to let things go, like the idea of a clean house, or an organized file system, or taking the trash out, or going on a date for 3 years, or a real vacation, or sleeping in a room (or bed) by ourselves, or putting money into savings, or a clean vehicle (let's face it, my truck has never been clean; he knew better). I'm going to quote my always wise friend, Christa's, text here when I mentioned how scarred we are (in a funny way):
"Ohhhh does it scar!!!! Life takes on a whole new meaning when your child is not going down the "normal" path!!! The sweetness and innocence of life goes away and you go to war, fight like hell, leave life as you knew it in the dust to find the path for your child! It is bitter sweet and wonderful to see success but it changes you forever! " I can't think of any way to say it better!
We had to let go of all our preconceived ideas about how life would work after having kids. I've barely ridden a horse in 5 years and we were supposed to be running the business together! I would spend 4 hours every night trying to get James to sleep and doing his nightly tube feed trying to avoid the vomit, while Tom was sitting alone in the living room without ever complaining. To the point where I sort of forgot that that might suck for him too. He is my rock and my sense of humor and while so many people kindly tell me what a great mom I am, I am nothing without this man and everything he does for our family. The most important thing I can do for our kids is love their father, and make sure they know it. My parents were the same way, and so were my grandparents, so I know how fortunate I've been to have these examples of wonderful fathers and marriages in my life. And I'm so glad I found the person to carry on that tradition with! Happy Father's Day to all the amazing dads I've met through the years!!!

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